Couple shows up 15 minutes early to a DND session, which causes the master to start to state EVERY TIME that they can’t come before the arranged time: 'I'm just so confused as to why showing up 15 minutes before the agreed-upon time is so atrocious'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Aug 24, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

Maybe not everything is a right or wrong situation.

I love finding stories that make people disagree about who is wrong and who is right. We usually read about clients throwing temper tantrums in stores, or entitled coworkers who use other employees for their benefit. In those stories is always so obvious who is right and who is wrong. Maybe someone will disagree, but they are usually unanimous in their opinions. I like finding stories like the one from u/thatonestrangekid where we can discuss different points of view about a simple situation.

Just to get a brief summary, what happened is that a group of friends usually hangs out at a house to play Dungeons and Dragons. The DND (for short) Master is the one who hosts. He told everyone what time to be there and everything. One couple that was invited to the gathering got there 15 minutes early. They knocked three times before the master got out the door. He was severely angry at this, as they had arrived too early and he was still getting ready. After that event, every other time they gathered, this master would send very explicit messages reminding the attendees that they had to arrive on time, not before. Now the couple thinks that all the messages are a little too much for just one time they were early.

Now, we can say a lot of things about this. First that comes to mind is that if you are early, you shouldn't be knocking on the door multiple times. If you are early, knock one time and go wait in your car if no one gets out. Secondly, the master is taking it a little too far. They were just 15 minutes early, not an hour. And lastly, even though I get that this is too much with all the messages, I think the couple still doesn't get that being very early is also not being on time. But what do you think? Is there someone wrong and someone right? What would you have done if people arrived too early to your gathering? Is being too early not being on time?  

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  • My husband and my friend group started a DND campaign and decided to do it on Monday nights once a month. The sessions are held at the DMs house and agreed to start at 6:45PM. My husband and I are always early to everything and we showed up 15 minutes early. We knocked on the DMs door 3 times before the DM opened it and asked us what we were doing there so early in an annoyed/angry tone. The DM then told us to wait outside because his girlfriend was changing and made us wait on their porch until
    via thatonestrangekid
  • A table set to play Dungeons & Dragons with the dice placed.
    via Gian-Luca

    A table set to play Dungeons & Dragons with the dice placed.

  • Ever since then the DM has made it a point to say to not come early to the sessions. Are my husband and I ah les for showing up early? This happened one time and if my husband and I show up early, we wait in the car until the specified time. Shortly after this I got a text from the DMs girlfriend of a video portraying a person hypercleaning before company comes over and joking stated it was her and the DM. Im just so confused as to why showing up 15 minutes before the agreed upon time is so atro
    via thatonestrangekid
  • We usually end around 10:30 which is late for most of the group. My husband, me, and the DMs girlfriend are all players with another couple, for context.
    via thatonestrangekid
  • thesidxxx We start our D&D session at 1:30. Some players are in person, some virtual. I tell people show up any time after 1, and be ready to start playing at 1:30. Before that I would say start at 1, and people would show up at 5 or 10 after, and then we'd start by 1:30 anyway. This hasn't changed much but makes me less stressed about people showing up too early or is starting too late.
    via thatonestrangekid
  • teamglider We knocked on the DMs door 3 times Here's your big mistake. If you're early, and you knock and they don't answer, you go back to the car and wait. When people don't answer the door, they aren't answering for a reason. Knocking three times when you know you're early is pretty annoying.
    via thatonestrangekid
  • Molenium The video she sent you was a funny way of telling you what's going on. For many people, if they are expecting company at a certain time, they're still running around trying to get things set up until that time, so having guests arrive early means they're in the way when you're still trying to get ready. A restaurant or a doctor's office want you to arrive early to make sure your appointment starts on time, because they have other people scheduled after you. If you're visiting a person a
    via thatonestrangekid
  • DM's reaction was harsh, but I lean YTA mostly because the girlfriend already explained to you what was going on.
    via thatonestrangekid
  • A board game set on the table for game night with friends.
    via Karthik Balakrishnan

    A board game set on the table for game night with friends.

  • BarneyBent YTA. Not in a big way, but I would also be annoyed at people turning up before I'm ready to host. Start times are start times, it's kind of inconsiderate to impose yourself on people before the agreed time.
    via BarneyBent
  • taltallytalia If I told someone to arrive at 6.45, I'd be really annoyed if they arrived at 6.30. Unless you've asked the person if it's ok to come over earlier, never go to someone's house at a time earlier than they've told you to.
    via taltallytalia
  • xubax I don't think your the a h le for showing up early once. Since they've made it clear that they don't want people showing up early, you would be the ah le if you kept showing up early. The way things are today, for all you know, they have a video couples counseling session that ends at 645. Or something else. It they're just not ready for you until then. NTA if you don't keep showing up early.
    via xubax
  • Born_Tale_2337 This is not as clear as it's for a gaming experience that needs everyone there and ready to participate. If the invite was "campaign starts at 6:45″ it would be normal to assume you are meant to be there and ready to start at 6:45, so arriving a few minutes early is expected. If it was "come over at 6:45" I'd assume that's the arrival time and we'd start playing shortly after that. This whole situation could be avoided by just
    via Born_Tale_2337
  • better communication. Host could have politely asked you to give them some time as they are not presentable, or got you settled in the game area and let you know they aren't quite ready to entertain yet and would return in a few minutes. NBD. OR they could have just made the best of it and later clarified with the group what the arrival time is and when the game start time is.
    via Born_Tale_2337
  • Difficult Reading858 It sounds like the DM set a boundary and because your behaviour triggered it, you're reading a lot more into it than is actually there. Someone clarifying their expectations is not casting judgement on you; they are trying to preserve the relationship you have and reduce confusion/frustration/etc. for everyone. Now all that being said, YTA. Not for arriving early- for knocking on the door repeatedly after arriving early. When events take place at a person's home, start times
    via Difficult Reading858
  • WillingHome9072 They told you they don't want people early because they're still getting ready until the show up time. Presumably 7pm is the start time and 6.45 is the 'show up early' time. Banging on the door 3 times and being "confused" about how it's an issue is why they keep telling you over and over not to do it again.
    via WillingHome9072
  • lifeinthemindf_ck I wouldn't say YTA per se, but it's definitely r de to show up early unless you are very close friends. Very very close. 15 minutes early people are still getting themselves or the space ready. It's a faux pas for sure.
    via lifeinthemindf_ck

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